Just gisting about feelings &emotions
Beside the laptop, a daily workbook eyeballs me. I have a rich creamy mug of tea within reach, and thanks to Nepa the room temperature is perfect. It’s so quiet I feel like I have the whole house to myself. I should settle down and begin work, but somehow I can’t. My mind is wandering too much to settle on anyone thing but she is not wandering with emotion, just a leisure glide, taking in every thought in pictures and not stopping at any because there is no pressure to do.
That exactly is the point, I do not feel the need to attend to anything at the moment. I don’t want to make a post, write, edit, or labour in my head about who I should be meeting about any of my doings. Yet I don’t feel panic about the fact that the clock is ticking away and the day is surely moving along. Instead I choose to flow along with my present mood.
I slide lower on the chair, pull both legs up on the edge of the table, cross my feet and just be. It is a great mood to relax in. I am feeling no need to do anything or be any where, except right here, just being at peace. It feels nice. I am grateful for a moment as this. And I feel lucky that I recognise and can sieze the gift.
I slide down further on the chair, as if I could be any more comfortable. Surely, I am. I take a long deep breath, it feels so good as my chest expands to absorb the air. The second breath is even greater, by the third I know not to linger…sometimes we feel such unbelievable peace or comfort but almost immediately we start to question how and why we could feel such, then we loose the moment.
Past experiences has taught me that no two days are ever the same. But we humans force things because that is our nature. We do, because we must, for whatever reasons and benefits. We have to push and enforce things so that day is as we want it…as we should, must. But sometimes the day gets the better of us. And it seems to know exactly when to pop it’s head, most often when we need it to take over, so that we are reminded that we are simply human, and need to either slow down, or stop. I figure my mind just wants me to slow down, breath, look away ftom the screen and notepads long enough to look around me and absorb as I have not done in the last ten days.
I look out of the window, surrendering totally to the moment, determined to enjoy it for as long as it lasts, before my mind leads me back to the feelings and emotions as planned…post some features on my page, do some writing, break in a new staff, and later, a service of song for a friend who passed yesterday morning.
I say a quick prayer for the dead then smiled. It’ll be a beautiful day. Living indeed is as simple as we can make it.